why, god, why?!

I am finding that as I get more and more school-related anxiety, I have more random food cravings.

I want sushi. Or thick, chunky guacamole. I haven't decided yet.

But alas, my misery continues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

currently listening to: The Format - Pick Me Up

EDIT: I had an epiphany in the middle of writing my last paper, and now everything is going so freaking well! It just goes to show YOU CAN PLAN A PRETTY PICNIC, BUT YOU CAN'T PREDICT THE WEATHER!!!

9 more days...

I am officially miserable.

I have just been writing and writing and writing (and editing and writing...) and the papers go on and on and on. They are like the super messy room that you clean for hours but still looks dirty!

To make matter worse, I have lost my history notebook with my notes from the entire semester. And yes, the exam is cumulative. And yes, I need to get an A on it.

This is what I want: Dark Chocolate, Roasted Almond, Toffee Chunk Scone

An Interesting Read

Alessandra Stanley discusses how the leads of Ally McBeal, Sex and the City, and now Grey's Anatomy are ultimately peeing on the image of women.

Waitress

I want to see this because I love Keri Russell and wish Felicity was still on.

confessions of a starbucks addict

Okay so, I decided I wanted to stop going to Starbucks. You know, because the coffee isn't really free trade and they are the epitome of corporate America? And I will say, I gave up actually going to Starbucks. I did. I swear. But the bottled Frappuccinos that you can get at your regular grocer? I just can't say no! I have tried all flavors and have decided that the Mocha is in fact the greatest. Not only does it have less calories than the Coffee and Vanilla varieties, but its the perfect blend of richness, sweetness, and creaminess. I want to say no so desperately...but I can't! The small size is the perfect little treat when you want a quick pick me up and the larger size is perfect for those late nights. Man oh man...

Salzburg Update

So more exciting news about the Salzburg study abroad:

--> We will be using WordPad to blog consistently throughout the trip.
--> The other 50 students (other than the 10 from UMD) are from: Chile, Argentina, UAE, Spain, UK, China, South Africa, and some others I'm forgetting...
--> The Salzburg Music Festival, the largest music festival in Europe, will be going on at the same time.
--> US Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy will give the opening address.
--> Pulitzer Prize winner Jeffrey Eugenides (Middlesex) will be staying at the Schloss Leopoldskron with us for a conference on writing.
--> We have class between the hours of 9 and 5 (with a two hour break for lunch) monday through friday, and all of the rest of the time is our own (with the exception of some optional field trips to Dachau and Eagle's Nest).
--> The Schloss has bikes for us to borrow to bike ride around the premises or into town
--> Most importantly, the food provided is supposedly "very, very good".

If you want to check out pictures of where we will be staying, check out the website: http://www.schloss-leopoldskron.com/

so excited!

The Boy with No Name

So this is a post to say that I have the new Travis album, and they have outdone themselves.

I'm talking about so good that I'm in tears.

The beauty of music is its ability to remind you that sometimes nothing else matters.

Does this make me an escapist? Maybe, but for Travis, I can live with that.

Digital Retouching

Look at this. It's amazing.

http://homepage.mac.com/gapodaca/digital/digital.html

Reminds me of:

Underrated Foods, as dictated by moi

This list will be added to over time. So far:

--> cupcakes: light, moist, and the perfect portion of cake-y goodness
--> milkshakes: anything with as much fat and sugar as ice cream in a drink form cannot be bad
--> cheese fondue: my current (and only) fav is jarlsberg and gruyere with crust french bread
--> pirogies: i usually don't like pasta-like foods, but this is an exception
--> grilled meat and seafood: breading is so unnecessary, let real flavors shine!

Two Interesting Articles

Michelle Malkin: "The Culture of 'Bitches, Niggas, and Hos"

Anyone who knows me knows that I seriously despise Michelle Malkin 99.9% of the time, but I was pretty impressed with how she noticed that all of this Imus-hoopla is not as serious of a problem as the kind of rhetoric that goes on on airwaves all the time via "rap" music. I'm surprised people make such a fuss about one racist jerk when there are plenty of people on the airwaves (musicians, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, etc.) who make comments just as racist daily (infact, I think you could make a strong case for Michelle Malkin herself being a racist), just not as blatant or obvious as Imus. Malkin does a decent job of recognizing the more prevalent (and ignored) mechanisms which promote and allow the kind of language Imus and others perpetuate.

Alec Baldwin: "What Imus Really Did Wrong"

So this is being included because I think Alec Baldwin is a phenomenal actor and I love that HuffPo gives (almost) everyone a voice, from John Kerry to Sheryl Crow to local journalists. Baldwin takes a very different point of view, arguing that Imus shouldn't have been fired because he is an entertainer, not a news-giver and that the real group to blame is the audience who applauds and listens to this kind of racist entertainment. I don't know if I agree completely, but it's a good argument...and quite frankly, I just think he's sexy.

Pâte à Choux (funnel cake)

Deciding to be adventurous, last night we made our own funnel cake. It was actually much easier than I imagined.

Once the batter is made, the most difficult part is getting the oil to the right temperature. If you don't have a thermometer (I would guess a meat thermometer would work well), you basically have two options to test the temperature:
1) flick a bit of water into the oil and when it really pops and sizzles excessively, it's hot enough
2) drop a bit of the batter into the oil and watch if it sizzles and browns appropriately

Another tricky thing is getting it to the right browning. The funnel cake can be fairly light in color and still be cooked well, it just depends on how crispy you want it. If it is lighter, it will be softer and maybe mushier in the middle, but when its a darker, like brown color, it is pretty crispy throughout. The recipe I used was more than enough, so you have enough batter to play around until you get it just right.

Otherwise, this recipe is largely very easy and fun. It's great because the ingredients and tools you need are things you normally have lying around anyway. The fun part is making any shapes that you want. The above is my sting ray. We also experimented with letters (like S), turtles, and other shapes. For toppings, we just used powdered sugar. I want to make it another time, maybe with a bigger group of people, and have a bowls of toppings available like homemade fruit compote, whipped cream, fresh fruit, melted nutella, and soft ice cream.

Anyway, before I start drooling, here's the recipe for about 5 hand-sized cakes:

1/2 cup water
3 tablespoons butter
1/2 tablespoon sugar
a pinch of salt
1/2 cup flour
2 whole eggs and 1 egg white
vegetable oil, for frying

Boil water, butter, sugar, and salt together in a saucepan. Once that is boiling, add flour and work it in until it is all incorporated and dough forms a ball.

Transfer mixture to the bowl and let cool for 3 to 4 minutes. With a stand mixer or hand mixer on its lowest speed, add eggs, 1 at a time, making sure the first egg is completely incorporated before continuing. Once all eggs have been added and mixture is smooth, put dough in a ziplock bag.

Fill a frying pan with about 1 1/2 inches of vegetable oil. It can be more or less oil, depending on how big you plant to make your cakes. When they are smaller, you can get away with a little less, but for the big fair-like sizes, you will want to be generous. When the oil is hot enough (see above for methods), cut a hole in a corner of the ziplock bag and pipe dough into oil, making a free-form lattice pattern.

When the sides appear cooked or browned, flip once. Remove cake from oil, drain on paper towels, and top with powdered sugar or other toppings. Continue until all of the batter is used.

Mehdi's Wedding

Me and the groom...The whole family (sans Mehdi and Hassen...and I guess Basil).
The Rahnama/Eldadah women (sans Pari).
And because this is simply the cutest...

Here are some (of the 374) images the photographer sent us. There was only one of the three of us, but both me and Yasmina have our eyes closed, so I didn't bother posting it.

A Must Read

Karabell's "Enough Already with 'The Trouble with Islam'"

fuck the system.

For a WMST paper on advertisement, I have been collecting advertisements that I find wrong, for one reason or another. Very rarely have I stumbled upon one that is incredibly and obviously devaluing, but I have come to realize that is precisely the point.

In our culture, hegemony is not enforced by Big Brother over the tv-screens every morning, it is enforced almost unknowingly through advertisements, media outlets, and entire industries.

I have always thought of the most busy places in the world, like Times Square or Rodeo Drive to be emblems of the advertising overdose I am talking about. But I'm realizing, that is largely irrelevant. Walking into places like that, we are prepared to be overwhelmed by billboards and signs and whatnot. At that point, we are almost immune to the advertising, because we are so aware of it.

The more serious problem is the hidden politics in the facets of our day to day existence. The messages on the sides of buses, the magazine advertisements we don't look twice at, the commercials we breeze through, the signs we walk past, and so on. Advertisers realize they only have a couple seconds to catch our attention (even if we are unaware of it) and ram their message down our throats. It is these seconds, that we never think twice about, that I think subconsciously shape our ideas about accepted norms and values.

The more of these advertisements I notice, the more pissed off I get. It's not about degrading women. I'm not saying all of them are doing that. It's just these little snippets of ideas that they give us periodically, and all of these ideas add up to bigger ideas. Not just about women, but about race and class and beauty and morals...

I am really outraged. Have you seen that bumper sticker: "If you aren't outraged, you aren't paying attention."? I always read that and said, "you need to relax and calm down...", but god dammit, I am really freaking outraged. What pisses me off the most is, it's feels almost futile to fight it. This hegemony being indoctrinated into our lives exists world-wide, culture to culture, almost inescapably.

I am just going to do my part to be aware of it and stop pretending that I am not affected and I do not pay attention to advertising.

Bar Americain

As you may know, I go through phases with my favorite Food Network chefs. My latest interest has been Bobby Flay. He first came to my attention in his show "Boy Meets Grill" where he cooks anything and everything, from steak to pizza, on the grill. I thoroughly appreciate his deeply-rooted connection to Brooklyn, his hometown, and his unexpected culinary interest in the southwest. I also noticed that of all the chefs on Iron Chef: America, his creations were the ones I would most like to try.

He has three New York restaurants and I knew I had to try one in my last trip up there. Mesa (Grill), his first restaurant is a product of his love for southwestern cuisine. His second restaurant, Bolo, is a tribute to his love of the simplicity and richness of Spanish cuisine. His newest NYC endeavor is Bar Americain, a restaurant where he attempts to spice up traditional American dishes with the bold flavors of the southwest. I settled on Bar Americain probably because it sounded most intriguing to me. After all, what exactly is "American cuisine"? Fried chicken?

I was pleasantly surprised to find that "American cuisine" was exactly what I was looking for out of my Bobby Flay experience. Not only was the food rich and delicious, but the decor was uniquely modern and our waiter quickly became our guide to the hidden complexities of the fairly simple menu.

Example Interaction:
Sara: I am interested in the Sweet Potato Clam soup...does that have any meat product other than the clams?
Waiter: Absolutely.
Sara: (silence + puzzled expression)
Waiter: There is bacon all through the soup.
Sara: Oh.
Waiter: Get the French Onion.
Sara: Really? Are you sure?
Waiter: Oh yes (expression-less face). It's the best French Onion in Manhattan.
Sara: Well then! French Onion it is!

Before the French Onion however, I decided to get the sampler plate from the Raw Bar (which actually didn't have anything raw...except oysters). The plate came with three seafood mixtures: Shrimp-Tomatillo, Crab-Coconut, and Lobster-Avocado. As I bet you can guess, they were out of this world. Not only were the base flavor combinations rich and flavorful, but there was some masterful blend of spices and fresh herbs involved in each that I could not guess (because I was too busy having a mouth-orgasm). I realized, small tastings of seafood is a great way to start out a meal because simply prepared, fresh seafood is never heavy or overbearing.

Because I ordered two appetizers instead of one entree, they came out together. I had the French Onion soup first because it was hot. I must say, after the sensational sample plate from the raw bar, the French Onion was a bit of a let down. Granted, there was definitely a slow-cooked taste in the soup and the top was made from a really fantastic Gruyere, but it was overall just too heavy and thick for me to really enjoy. The more I reflect on this the more I think I should have realized this upon ordering, as French Onion is certainly heavier than a potato soup, but it was impulsive and alas, that is the price I pay for not carefully planning everything!

After my French Onion, I delved into my crab cake. But oh no, this was no ordinary crab cake! It was a Crawfish and Dungeness Crab cake. I had never had this combination and was (rightfully) very intrigued. Crawfish, I learned, was sort of similar to shrimp. In addition to its pinkish color, it was more firm and defined in shape than crab. The combination was phenomenal. The problem, I think, with many crab cakes is that the texture of the crab is so consistent that the cake as a whole can seem like one big pile of crabby mush. Adding the Crawfish created a nice point of contrast so each flavor was experienced uniquely but also contributed to the overall taste and feel of the crab cake. To the side of the crab cake was a basil vinaigrette which was a little too sweet for me, but I didn't mind because the crab cake was so fantastic that it needed no sauce.

It's hard to imagine after that glory, there was more. I was hoping to try the Lemon Moscato Crepes for dessert but instead listened to my waiter's recommendation and tried the Chocolate Waffles. I gotta tell ya folks, this was the icing on the cake. The pieces of waffle were very small, maybe half that of a typical toaster-waffle, but they had a rich, velvety chocolate filling, similar to a soufflé. The waffles were places over a really soft, half-melted vanilla ice cream. Amidst the small puddle formed by the melted ice cream were plump black cherries and chopped up pistachio. I usually hate pistachio as an addition to anything and prefer it on its own, but the nuttiness and crunch it added to this dish was really impressive. The cherry also reminded me of my favorite ice cream, Cherry Garcia. The combination of the warm chewy waffles with the soft vanilla ice cream with the sweet cherries and distinct pistachios was out of this world.

In general, I was really impressed with the food. The menu had a lot of classics like various steaks, hamburgers, and smoked chicken, all served with crispy french fries. But it also had a lot of interesting, innovative dishes like lamb chops in a cranberry sauce and salmon with cracked wheat and wine. Like I mentioned earlier, the decor was great too. The super-high ceilings and harmoniously colored walls and lamps made the crowded dining room more comfortable and relaxing. The bathroom was also très chic. If you are willing to spend a little money, Bar Americain is an excellent choice for a great New York lunch (or dinner), with love, from Bobby Flay.

Agave

Nestled in the West Village, Agave is a harmonious melange of distinctly southwestern flavor and uniquely New York modernity.

I heard of it from Rachael Ray's newest show "Rachael Ray's Tasty Travels". The show is similar to "$40 a Day", where she travels to a new city every episode, but in this show she does not consider money as a factor and simply recommends her favorite restaurants. She mentioned their lunches being particularly affordable so it was at the top on my list of things to try during this last trip to New York.

Not knowing what to expect, I had made reservations on OpenTable, but upon arriving with Melissa, I was surprised to see it was sparsely populated. We chose to sit in the front of the restaurant, with a nice view of both passerbyers on the street and the bar with the delicious-looking bartender.

I had already looked at the menu online, but I still thought it over. Melissa and I both ordered our own grilled corn on the cob. I think they were boiled before grilled because their texture was softer than other grilled corn I had tried. Also, there was a hint of spiciness in the corn and a pink tint to the cob, making me think it was probably boiled in water spiced with a red pepper, like cayenne. The corn was lightly buttered with a cilantro-lime butter when it arrived, which, coupled with the spiciness, brought the southwestern feel back to the corn. As a grand finale, the corn was sprinkled with a Spanish cheese, Cojita, which was salty and firm, very similar to Parmesan. I can safely say no corn I had ever had included such an interesting and successful blend of favors.

Also as an appetizer, we shared the corn-crusted calamari. I was imaging that the corn crust would bring a new element to the typical fried calamari, but was disappointed to find it was just your typical calamari, the crust was not breaded, but more like panko, the Japanese batter used to make tempura. I didn't mind too much because I love calamari anyway, but also because of the sauces provided. With the calamari came two sauces: a "chipotle crema" and an "avocado crema". These cremas had a thick, weighty consistency, so I would assume their base is a mayonaise. As heavy as it sounds, both sauces were strong enough in favor that too much was not necessary to dress up the already-delicious calamari.

For my main dish, I had grilled Mahi-Mahi tacos. The plate came to me with warm tortillas which already had strips of fish in them. On top of the fish was a salsa which was made up of grilled pinapple, mango, cilantro, and lime juice. The fish was cooked well-done but was incredibly juicy and tender, despite it's blackened look. On the sides of the plate were other extras, including a really delicious guacamole, sour cream, fresh tomatoes, and crunchy lettuce. I appreciated that these extras were on the side so that I could control exactly how heavy or filling I wanted my tacos to be. All in all, the tacos were really fresh and light, yet richly flavorful and filling.

I skipped dessert, but plenty of their options sounded interesting.

I thoroughly enjoyed Agave. The decor was a really fantastic blend of southwestern feel, with grainy brown paper over all the tables and an adobe staircase leading down to the bathroom and also a very classy modernity, with very simply chic plates and tables. The food was just a reminder of how much southwestern cuisine has to offer.

change is good

instead of using this blog only for bitching and moaning, i have decided to make it an outlet for my inner foodie. i may occasionally bitch and whine, but i will also review restaurants and recipes i encounter.

HILARIOUS!

there is something so beautiful in the simplicities we overlook

where do you fit into this?

Daily effects of white privilege (as articulated by Peggy Mcintosh)

I decided to try to work on myself at least by identifying some of the daily effects of white privilege in my life. I have chosen those conditions that I think in my case attach somewhat more to skin-color privilege than to class, religion, ethnic status, or geographic location, though of course all these other factors are intricately intertwined. As far as I can tell, my African American coworkers, friends, and acquaintances with whom I come into daily or frequent contact in this particular time, place and time of work cannot count on most of these conditions.

1. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.

2. I can avoid spending time with people whom I was trained to mistrust and who have learned to mistrust my kind or me.

3. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area which I can afford and in which I would want to live.

4. I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me.

5. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.

6. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.

7. When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization," I am shown that people of my color made it what it is.

8. I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their race.

9. If I want to, I can be pretty sure of finding a publisher for this piece on white privilege.

10. I can be pretty sure of having my voice heard in a group in which I am the only member of my race.

11. I can be casual about whether or not to listen to another person's voice in a group in which s/he is the only member of his/her race.

12. I can go into a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods which fit with my cultural traditions, into a hairdresser's shop and find someone who can cut my hair.

13. Whether I use checks, credit cards or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability.

14. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them.

15. I do not have to educate my children to be aware of systemic racism for their own daily physical protection.

16. I can be pretty sure that my children's teachers and employers will tolerate them if they fit school and workplace norms; my chief worries about them do not concern others' attitudes toward their race.

17. I can talk with my mouth full and not have people put this down to my color.

18. I can swear, or dress in second hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty or the illiteracy of my race.

19. I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial.

20. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.

21. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.

22. I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color who constitute the world's majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.

23. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.

24. I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to the "person in charge", I will be facing a person of my race.

25. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven't been singled out because of my race.

26. I can easily buy posters, post-cards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys and children's magazines featuring people of my race.

27. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance or feared.

28. I can be pretty sure that an argument with a colleague of another race is more likely to jeopardize her/his chances for advancement than to jeopardize mine.

29. I can be pretty sure that if I argue for the promotion of a person of another race, or a program centering on race, this is not likely to cost me heavily within my present setting, even if my colleagues disagree with me.

30. If I declare there is a racial issue at hand, or there isn't a racial issue at hand, my race will lend me more credibility for either position than a person of color will have.

31. I can choose to ignore developments in minority writing and minority activist programs, or disparage them, or learn from them, but in any case, I can find ways to be more or less protected from negative consequences of any of these choices.

32. My culture gives me little fear about ignoring the perspectives and powers of people of other races.

33. I am not made acutely aware that my shape, bearing or body odor will be taken as a reflection on my race.

34. I can worry about racism without being seen as self-interested or self-seeking.

35. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having my co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.

36. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it had racial overtones.

37. I can be pretty sure of finding people who would be willing to talk with me and advise me about my next steps, professionally.

38. I can think over many options, social, political, imaginative or professional, without asking whether a person of my race would be accepted or allowed to do what I want to do.

39. I can be late to a meeting without having the lateness reflect on my race.

40. I can choose public accommodation without fearing that people of my race cannot get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chosen.

41. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help, my race will not work against me.

42. I can arrange my activities so that I will never have to experience feelings of rejection owing to my race.

43. If I have low credibility as a leader I can be sure that my race is not the problem.

44. I can easily find academic courses and institutions which give attention only to people of my race.

45. I can expect figurative language and imagery in all of the arts to testify to experiences of my race.

46. I can chose blemish cover or bandages in "flesh" color and have them more or less match my skin.

47. I can travel alone or with my spouse without expecting embarrassment or hostility in those who deal with us.

48. I have no difficulty finding neighborhoods where people approve of our household.

49. My children are given texts and classes which implicitly support our kind of family unit and do not turn them against my choice of domestic partnership.

50. I will feel welcomed and "normal" in the usual walks of public life, institutional and social.